Kulfi: CBC Interview

I don’t know how many of you, if any, recall that a couple of years back, Kulfi decided to toss his collar into the political arena. In today’s highly-charged political environment, once again, he feels the need to do something and has asked if I would be willing to share his previously posted partial interview with Sir Bassett Hound of the CBC (Canine Broadcasting Corporation). He also promised to be my best buddy. So, with a bribe, or rather a gift, like that, what could I do? Here is Kulfi’s original interview.

Cando ke Rajkumar Kulfi.

S: Good Evening. Sir Basset Hound here with Kulfi, Bayit Clavi’s chairdog.
K: Good Evening.
S: First, I should ask, do you prefer to be called Didi, or Kulfi?
K: Yes. I do.
S: Uh…
K: Much better than my full name – Cando ke Rajkumar Kulfi.
S: Ah! I didn’t know that. Prince Ice Cream of Cando, correct?
K: Correct. Didi or Kulfi is also better than “Hey you” or “Yo, good looking.”
S: Quite. So…ahem…where would you place BC on the political spectrum?
K: Well, we’re an animal party. Let me refer to our platform, here it is…yes…
S: Excuse me – it’s so refreshing to see a politician refer to a written document.
K: I know. In my country, BC has absolutely no competition on this front.
S: Jolly well put, I must say.

Sometimes we’re on the left, sometimes on the right, sometimes in the center, and frankly, sometimes we just don’t give a…

Kulfi, Party Leader of Bayit Clavi

K: BC stands, and I quote, “firmly to the right of the left…
S: Uh huh.
K: … of the middle of the center.”
S: I see. Could you expand on that, just a little?
K: Of course. Sometimes we’re on the left, sometimes on the right…
S: Yes…
K: sometimes in the center, and frankly, sometimes we just don’t give a…
S: I understand. And what would you say is your party’s raison d’être?
K: Simple. To realize the dream of “At least one dog in every house.”
S: Pardon for mentioning, but that seems as if it could be an expensive enterprise.
K: That’s why our party’s anthem is “How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?”
S: Aha! Financial responsibility coupled with a strong moral stance.
K: Correct. We firmly believe that the buck does, in fact, stop somewhere.
S: Your party’s convention is next week. Everything in place?
K: Yes. I am excited to say that it’s being catered by DogBarie.
S: Ooh! Quite nice.
K: By the way, do you happen to have one of their peanut butter cupcakes here?
S: Sorry. It seems we are fresh out.
K: Oh, well. There will be plenty at our convention next week.
S: I apologize, but that’s all the time we have. Thanks so much for joining us.
K: My pleasure.
S: This has been Sir Basset Hound, CBC International, with BC’s Didi, or Kulfi.

Patti Page – “How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

Author: Gershon Ben-Avraham

Gershon Ben-Avraham holds an MA in Philosophy (Aesthetics). His writing has appeared in Big Muddy, Gravel, Image, Jewish Literary Journal, Poetica, The Rappahannock Review, Tipton Poetry Journal, and others. His short story “Yoineh Bodek,” (Image) earned “Special Mention” in the Pushcart Prize XLlV: Best of the Small Presses 2020 Edition.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.