Kulfi: CBC Interview

I don’t know how many of you, if any, recall that a couple of years back, Kulfi decided to toss his collar into the political arena. In today’s highly-charged political environment, once again, he feels the need to do something and has asked if I would be willing to share his previously posted partial interview with Sir Bassett Hound of the CBC (Canine Broadcasting Corporation). He also promised to be my best buddy. So, with a bribe, or rather a gift, like that, what could I do? Here is Kulfi’s original interview.

Cando ke Rajkumar Kulfi.

S: Good Evening. Sir Basset Hound here with Kulfi, Bayit Clavi’s chairdog.
K: Good Evening.
S: First, I should ask, do you prefer to be called Didi, or Kulfi?
K: Yes. I do.
S: Uh…
K: Much better than my full name – Cando ke Rajkumar Kulfi.
S: Ah! I didn’t know that. Prince Ice Cream of Cando, correct?
K: Correct. Didi or Kulfi is also better than “Hey you” or “Yo, good looking.”
S: Quite. So…ahem…where would you place BC on the political spectrum?
K: Well, we’re an animal party. Let me refer to our platform, here it is…yes…
S: Excuse me – it’s so refreshing to see a politician refer to a written document.
K: I know. In my country, BC has absolutely no competition on this front.
S: Jolly well put, I must say.

Sometimes we’re on the left, sometimes on the right, sometimes in the center, and frankly, sometimes we just don’t give a…

Kulfi, Party Leader of Bayit Clavi

K: BC stands, and I quote, “firmly to the right of the left…
S: Uh huh.
K: … of the middle of the center.”
S: I see. Could you expand on that, just a little?
K: Of course. Sometimes we’re on the left, sometimes on the right…
S: Yes…
K: sometimes in the center, and frankly, sometimes we just don’t give a…
S: I understand. And what would you say is your party’s raison d’être?
K: Simple. To realize the dream of “At least one dog in every house.”
S: Pardon for mentioning, but that seems as if it could be an expensive enterprise.
K: That’s why our party’s anthem is “How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?”
S: Aha! Financial responsibility coupled with a strong moral stance.
K: Correct. We firmly believe that the buck does, in fact, stop somewhere.
S: Your party’s convention is next week. Everything in place?
K: Yes. I am excited to say that it’s being catered by DogBarie.
S: Ooh! Quite nice.
K: By the way, do you happen to have one of their peanut butter cupcakes here?
S: Sorry. It seems we are fresh out.
K: Oh, well. There will be plenty at our convention next week.
S: I apologize, but that’s all the time we have. Thanks so much for joining us.
K: My pleasure.
S: This has been Sir Basset Hound, CBC International, with BC’s Didi, or Kulfi.

Patti Page – “How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

Author: Gershon Ben-Avraham

Gershon Ben-Avraham is an American-Israeli writer. He lives in Beersheba, Israel, on the edge of the Negev Desert. He and his wife share their lives with a gentle blue-merle long-haired collie. Ben-Avraham earned an MA in Philosophy (Aesthetics) from Temple University. His short story, “Yoineh Bodek,” (Image) received “Special Mention” in the Pushcart Prize XLlV: Best of the Small Presses 2020 Edition. Kelsay Books published his chapbook “God’s Memory” in 2021. חב"ד‎

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