Merriam-Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary’s “Word of the Day” for August 29, 2023, is oxymoron. The following definition is provided: An oxymoron is a combination of words that have opposite or very different meanings, such as “cruel kindness” or “open secret.” In broader usage, oxymoron can also refer to something (such as a concept) that is made up of contradictory or incongruous elements.
YouTube has a delightful short titled “Eggless Omelette,” which is amusing precisely because of confusion arising when one character perceives an oxymoron and another does not. You can view the clip here [https://youtube.com/shorts/riztqNZyt-I?si=o_iNe0oTxg3SQNiE].
The skit begins with a waiter conveying a customer’s order for an “eggless omelet.” Two cooks are involved. One tells the waiter that you cannot have an eggless omelet. The waiter responds with an ostensibly reasonable question: Do we not have any? The cook replies no; it’s because they do not exist. He then tries to illustrate his point by asking the waiter what breadsticks are made of. The waiter replies correctly, “bread.” The cook says so what is left if you take away the bread? The waiter responds questioningly: Sticks?
Frustrated with his failed attempt to clarify why there is no such thing as an eggless omelet, the cook takes a plate and sprinkles it with parsley, telling the waiter, “There you go. That’s an eggless omelet.” The waiter is simple; they respond, “Okay,” and pick up the plate to take to the customer. The cook calls the waiter back.
Now, the confusion at this point is fairly obvious. But let’s look at it in a bit more detail. We begin with Webster’s definition of “omelet”: beaten eggs cooked without stirring until set and served in a half-round form by folding one half over the other. Note the presence of the word “eggs.” For the cook, it is simply not possible to have an eggless omelet. To him, the phrase is an oxymoron.
On the other hand, the waiter assumes that there may be such things, for the customer at Table Six just ordered one. The important question from the waiter’s perspective is whether or not the restaurant has them. When the cook offers a plate sprinkled with parsley and says, “That’s an eggless omelet,” the waiter takes it in good faith but is immediately recalled.
One classical way to define words is to identify their “essential” qualities, that quality or qualities without which the thing being described is not that thing. For the cook, an essential omelet quality is that it contains eggs. To his mind, there is no omelet if there are no eggs. But is that so?
Enter the second cook, bearing a question for the waiter to ask the customer: Would he like his omelet made with whole eggs or just egg whites? Hmmm. If the order is prepared with whole eggs, the customer will rightly not see it as an eggless omelet. But what if it’s made with egg whites only? Here, the attempted definition of “eggless omelet” is being stretched to use what philosophers call “strands of similarities.” To illustrate, assume object O1 has three characteristics: C1, C2, and C3. Assume a second object, O2, has three characteristics: C2, C3, and C4. O1 and O2 are not quite the same thing, but they have strands of similarities, namely, C2 and C3. We may call them by the same name depending on the particular circumstances. My rough collie is a dog; your chihuahua is also a dog. But the collie is not a chihuahua.
So, returning to our skit, an egg has a yolk and albumen (egg whites). Can an omelet be made with egg whites only? It’s certainly possible to make something that looks like a whole egg omelet from egg whites. But again, would our customer understand that what he is being served is an eggless omelet?
The second cook’s suggested question to be asked of the customer is not a solution. Part of the problem lies in the customer’s request. Maybe the customer wants and should have asked for a “vegan omelet.” Would this have helped? Is “vegan omelet” any less an oxymoron than “eggless omelet?”
At this point, I turned to my friend, ChatGPT, and asked, “What is an eggless omelet?” Here’s its answer:
An eggless omelet, often referred to as a vegan omelet or plant-based omelet, is a dish that replicates the texture and flavor of a traditional omelet without using any eggs or animal products. It’s a popular option for individuals who follow a vegan diet or have egg allergies. The eggless omelet is typically made using plant-based ingredients to mimic the structure and taste of a traditional omelet.
What we have here is a definition using “strands of similarities.” An eggless omelet, aka vegan omelet, “replicates the texture and flavor of a traditional omelet without using any eggs or animal products.”
Simple as the waiter in the skit is, they come off quite well. They aren’t arrogant, make a few reasonable assumptions, and have good intentions. Oddly enough, the customer could have stated his order more precisely, using an oxymoron alternative, “vegan omelet,” instead of the oxymoron perceived by the first cook, “eggless omelet.” And a more helpful cooking staff would have asked, perhaps, for clarification, but not the one suggested by the second cook, “whole eggs” versus “egg whites.” Good humor is so rich in meaning!
All the best,
Gershon
Gershon Ben-Avraham 